On a recent
trip to the Blue Mountain Ski Lodge, I got lost and spent half the day
wandering around the mountain. After I took my the required ski lessons, I
immediately skied downhill from the top of the mountain, only to wind up in the
middle of a double Black Diamond trail with professional skiers and
snowboarders flying at well above the legal highway speed limit. I thought the
ski rentals and main lodge was downhill, so I raced downhill only to find a
couple of small coffee shops. Desperate, I skied up and down the trail asking
for a cell phone. I finally found a person willing to help me, but my parents’
phones were in their locker. At around 8pm, I heard my name called on the
loudspeakers located throughout the lodge, directing me to go to the top of the
mountain – a ride would be waiting at the bottom. I found a small bus waiting
at the bottom of the mountain, which took me up to the lodge. I ate dinner,
which consisted of cup noodles, and vowed never to get lost on a ski lodge
again. I had spent 1 hour skiing and 5 hours wandering around aimlessly.
In January
2012, I was taken in for questioning by the SEC for investing in stocks which I
did not pay the taxes for. I had made a few hundred thousand dollars, which
were put in an offshore bank account based in the Cayman
Islands . I opened the bank account online, using an anonymous
proxy servers and fake credentials. From there, I moved 7 hundred thousand
dollars from my bank account in the Cayman Islands
to my Bank of America bank account, which attracted attention from the SEC. The
SEC notified the FBI, who traced the account to my internet service provider,
who willingly gave up the address to my house. I was expected at court the
following February, and I was convicted of tax fraud, operating a hedge fund
without a liscense, opening a bank account with false credentials, and much
more. I was fined 9 hundred thousand dollars and was sentenced to 9 months to a
juvenile detention facility. My assets were frozen and liquidated, crashing my
hedge fund and damaging my stocks. I was put under probation and house arrest
for the next 2 years.
In sixth
grade I was awarded with two days afterschool administrative detention for
distributing and possessing weapons. When class became boring, I took apart
pens and pencils and used the springs within the pens to build tiny shooters
that shot out small plastic pencil parts. These “pen guns” hurt less than a
rubber band, but somehow the principal thought I was running an undergrounds
weapons ring and selling guns to the mafia. My friends that I gave the pen guns
to had an unfortunate habit of shooting them off during class, which annoyed
the teacher so much she told the principal. Me and several friends were called
down the principals office, where we were questioned. The principal called the
police department, who came to the middle school and searched my locker. They
found nothing but a broken pen because I kept all of my “pen guns” at home.
Still, the principal sentenced me to afterschool detention. She, a remarkably
stupid woman, started ranting about how these pen guns were similar to similar
guns, and that I could of course, poke out someone’s eye with it. I could do
the same thing with a stapler with much more severe consequences, but that’s
besides the point. Whenever I pointed out the numerous fallacies in her
reasons, (eg. Rifle ammunition contains explosives, while a plastic tube is
clearly not explosive) she told me to be quiet and stop interrupting her. I
decided to stop speaking because if I did, she would probably realize her own logical
fails and experience a mental breakdown, and the principal’s husband would sue
me for causing great mental distress to his wife.
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